Tuesday, November 22, 2022

D is for Dementia

Drugs Update

So the Sertraline is still doing the business. I haven't exploded into a berserker's rage for weeks now. Which is nice.

Yesterday was the last session at The London Wetlands Centre. Felt a bit sad in a way. Two of the couples didn't make it in. The weather was pretty inclement too. I let them know about this blog. I read a bit out of my last post - the bit about me being a miserable bastard which made them laugh.

Drugs are good.

Maybe I shall try CBD or micro-dosing with magic mushrooms. What is there to lose?


We currently have no internet so I'm, tethering this computer what I am typing 'ere through my phone to the interweb. Amazing what we can do with technology these days. Waiting for the man to come and fix it. Which as we know this can sometimes take more than one visit.

in a moment I shall be venturing into Kingston town centre to get my Covid and flu jab. What fun!

Drakkenheim update - not that you're interested, and one could hardly blame you...

Did a 6 hour session on Sunday. 6 HOURS OF DUNGEON MASTERING! Wave after wave of attacks by various monsters on a fort that the players had to defend.

It was actually really good. Markedly different to the previous session which was predominantly role-playing. That's what's so great about this game - role-playing - exploration - combat. Something for everyone.

They all went up a level too. Just rewards. But things get tougher in the game now. 

I'm loving this.

I also have to embellish their backstories which are tied in to the whole scenario - each of them has a secret or guiding reason why they're there, or what they need to do. They haven't told the other characters what they are and I need to expand and integrate these into the adventure, one-on-one with each player. 

It will get complicated so I need to keep it clear and concise or yours truly will get very muddled indeed!

Don't like readin' or speakin'

Reading less of the paper these days. I used to devour it beak to arse, but now I just read some of the comments section and do the quiz, skim the rest. Is this symptomatic of a stage I'm going through or my condition worsening? Who knows.

I stopped reading Private Eye about a year ago - just couldn't get down to reading all that dense, forensic text. I'm considering cancelling my subscription to The Times. I would miss certain writers though. A paper becomes a familiar companion, and strangely comforting. It's dependable in that it always arrives and you look forward to certain features and writers, like familiar voices. 

I'll keep it for now as it may just be a stage I'm going through. I've learned that with dementia it's rather like a wavelength. For instance yesterday I was really chatty and up when I arrived at the Wetlands Centre. By the last half hour I was withdrawn and elsewhere.


...what I am becoming. I have so few interests now: D&D, Abba, nature, politics (on the wane as the movers and shakers are so depressingly awful). The dogs are lovely. So are my friends. 

Things are quiet before Xmas. I haven't done any Xmas shopping. I don't know what to get. My creative thinking seems to have gone. My imagination can be sparked but is as responsive and inactive as our broadband is at this time of writing.

Talking of creativity, I want to run Drakkenheim until its very end. This is because I'm finding it harder to prepare and I'm not sure when it will be too much and I will no longer be able to do it. It would be a shame if we didn't get to the end. 

So that is my goal for 2023.

Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Drugs please.

I am a Floater

 I've been very lazy recently. This extends to wearing the same clothes day in and out, staring at YouTube waiting for one of my subscribed channels to have something new on, and prepping D&D. Haven't cleaned the house. Haven't even done a blog post for weeks.

It's not good.

J was very kind and said I needed to have a list of tasks to do. She's right. I just drift off otherwise into the astral plane, floating untethered in the mists. I need to be reeled back down to terra firma and shown which direction to go. 


My temper has been insane - worryingly about to boil over like a broken pressure cooker on a full heat. This was really uncomfortable physically and mentally. I'd had some Sertraline (an antidepressant prescribed by my neurologist) on my table since July 30th. I'd taken one on July 31st and it had made me do jaw-dislocating yawns. I didn't like it. It also listed the myriad side-effects and said don't drink alcohol. This was enough at the time, for me to not take them.

The anger was so worrying to me that I thought I'd start taking them anyway. I also haven't had a drink since early September.

The anger left me within an hour of taking the pill. Oh my god - the relief from the pressure was borderline euphoric.

I've heard they don't kick in until weeks after taking them, but that wasn't my experience. Something chemical happened inside me and since then I have been a far happier bunny. 

The alternative to not having these drugs was awful.


I went to see ABBA Voyage AGAIN!! This time with J and our neighbours. It was wonderful. I think Mark was initially less keen, especially when the price was factored in. But both of them loved it - said it was incredible. 

Going to this event makes me so happy. Like an old person, I'm sick and tired of comedians and popular culture where they say shock words or use pornographic language for laughs. I don't even find it offensive; I find it boring.

I can go down the pub for that.

Talking of comedy, J and I saw the play 'Spike' with my old mate Will and his partner. It's currently at The Richmond Theatre. It was okay. It was better than okay. But the casting of Spike Milligan was the problem - he didn't look like Spike, nor was he very funny. I guess we're talking about comedy from 60-70 years ago, so timing is everything. I guess if a chameleon like Benedict Cumberbatch had played him, that would have been something to see.

Culture, innit?

Dungeons and Dragons

Drakkenheim continues on Sundays apace. It is deadly. Last Sunday the characters were sent half-mad merely looking through a gate. They're exploring the city to get a sense of the geography  - this is called a sandbox adventure. What that means is rather than a linear questline of goals and achievements with no deviation and a chronological order of events, instead the party go where they like. Luckily Drakkenheim is so well written that I can quickly review a section if I haven't prepared it and run it almost immediately.

The deadly nature of this setting is making for an edge-of-the-seat gaming experience.

My Monday lot are all high-level and seem to be immortal. No matter what I throw at them - and in this case it's rooms full of giants - they seem to win every battle with merely a few scratches to show for it. 

This particular adventure is older than the players, being the first written adventure ever published by TSR - the original Dungeons and Dragons company - back in 1978, although it was first played as a competition module before then.

It's basic and brutal. Very combat-heavy. I wonder how long it will be before they get bored of it.

London Wetlands Centre

Every Monday morning I've been attending the above centre in Barnes. It's an oasis, but look to the horizon and you see the whole place is surrounded with the gray nastiness that is London. Also, every 10 minutes a gigantic AIrbus roars overhead on its way to Heathrow.

Apart from that, it's really lovely - full of Cormorants, crested Grebes, geese and ducks of many varieties, and also lots of songbirds.

There have been lots of activities there which I have not taken part in - miserable bastard that I am. But I felt I was at the Wetland Centre not to make things out of clay or carve pumpkins, but to immerse myself in the nature and fauna and look up and listen and smell the air. 

In certain parts of London it's easy to miss the seasons changing, so places like commons, parks and Barnes Wetland Centre are great barometers and places you can breathe and relax and be human again.

Here are some photos I took on my iPhone. I decided not to take my SLRs as I don't have a 600mm prime zoom.