"Just ignore him: he'll go away..."

So I've had man-flu..

Yeah, I know. This is the 6th week now. It was really active over 2 weeks and knocked me out, enough to not walk Tomos for the entirety. But it's also hanging on. 

One retired nurse told me what I had was a coronavirus of which there are many - the common cold and the covid virus being two of them.

I'm still bunged up. I sound like Tom Waites first thing, and my left ear is completely blocked, despite the litre and half of olive oil I've sprayed in it.

Having my ears syringed on Wednesday, which I've never had done before. I want to keep all the wax that comes out, and put it on display in a little jar.

But during this time I didn't get as frustrated as I normally do by not seeing people. 

I've noticed I'm not going out as much any more. That I'm more content to just stay in and do the same thing - YouTube and computer games. 

In particular I'm rewatching old Time Team episodes!

This is a feature of FTD - you withdraw until you've isolated yourself. You no longer see your friends, nor feel any compunction to do so.

And while I'm still a social animal really, it's one of those incremental steps down in my condition that I notice from time to time.

Even writing a blogpost has been extra-difficult. I just don't feel I have anything to say, which is - in itself - a thing worth saying, as I normally have tons to say!

It's all part of the change that happens to your personality with Behavioural Variant. 

Your interests and get-up-and-go, have got up and gone.

Back on the dog-walking block

But at least I'm back on earlies. I used to wake up at 6 or earlier when I was working. 

Early is now 8.10am.

Usual crowd of dog-walkers were out. People were nice  - some were concerned about me.

So today I was walking Tomos and I got embroiled in a white goods conversation. 

Oh my god...

I had a Meile washing machine that lasted 14 years and then I had a Zanussi that when you opened the cutlery draw was in the shape of a penis, which used to make my third wife laugh every time.

Really? I had a microwave that was in the shape of a ball bag. And I bought a terriyaki chicken from Morrisons that lasted 4 years. 

Of course, that was back when chickens were chickens. Did I ever tell you about my Aunt Ida? She used to be a zebra...

(Continues until the heat death of the universe.)

I had to make something up which took me a while with all this brain cancer coming through me ear'oles, and then I buggered off. 

Heroin without the upside

Every morning the first thing I do is reach for my phone or iPad and look for 'what's Trump and his idiots done now?'

I know a lot of others with my predicament.

I have TDS: Trump derangement syndrome. That's what MAGA call it.

It's basically a filthy drug addiction. Like fentanyl, without the upside. 

There is nothing positive to come out of it. There is no high. It's just a spirit-sapping dirge. Plunge into a vortex of shit, and immerse yourself in it.

Then you watch Fox 'News' which is a Trump's propaganda network, where smug buffoons shout down any dissenting voices, character-assassinating or doing whatever it takes to besmirch them, and then spin lies and ridiculous nonsense where their guy can do no wrong and everything's the fault of 'Libs'.

Someone explained that the reason the MAGA crowd hate Europe is that the political landscape in the US is now Oligarchic Authoritarians vs Liberal Democracies, and the US is now the former, which is why they're now ballsdeep with Putin, Erdogan, Orban et al.

With secretaries of state as inappropriate and out-of their-depth as Steve Witkoff, Pete Hegseth, Matt Waltz and Tulsi Gabbard and the recent Signalgate where war plans were shared using Emojis on a non-secure (by military standards) commercial platform and accidentally included the Editor-in-Chief of The Atlantic magazine, that the US is no longer our ally.

I feel really bad for the rest of America who haven't drunk of the Trump Kool-Aid. But this is where we're at.

White punks on dope, the lot of them.

I wonder what Fee Waybill would do in his first term?

Gaming

While I was ill I managed to put 100 hours into an old game I started years ago and never finished - Fallout 4. Post apocalyptic alternate 1940s sci-fi. Great aesthetics. The game is good but when you're in maximised powered armour with a fully uprated plasma rifle and level 50, being asked to kill a bunch of Raiders terrorising a farmstead becomes nothing more than a chore.

I do have a new CRPG: Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous. It's okay so far. The interface is not as intuitive as Baldur's Gate 3 but it has potential. 

D&D has been cancelled a few times again. Little bit frustrating but there you go. Not that it can be helped. 

Itching to play though, and I'll be DMing in Pilton over Easter again.

Miss Perkins will see you now...

A life in a day

I love lying in bed when I've just awoken, pressing the snooze button on my alarm 5 or 6 times. 

The perfect warmth under the duvet. Stillness. No one asking me to do anything. Listening to the birdsong, in the distance a terrier barks, and the low hum of vehicles passing by. 

Crunching of gravel as our neighbour prepares for work. Any time between 10 minutes and an hour I shall get up. What a shame to have to get up at all.

Then I become aware of the ever-present tinnitus in my left ear - a very high-pitched tone that sounds almost like central heating.

Pills, pills....100mgs of Sertraline, 30mgs of Nifedipine, Vitamin B complex, Vitamim D, Lions Mane, and a soluble Vitamin C.

Always blocked up - spray some saltwater up there. I am a martyr to my sinuses. It's hereditary. I can hear my parents blowing their noses - they sound like elephants.

Breakfast is a glass of worthy green sludge, a bowl of porridge made with water with a spoonful of real honey and plump blueberries on top. 

I have to have breakfast with my headphones on to avoid the television and its rolling news; a cafetière of smooth coffee and a carton of oat milk, then go through the paper starting with the columnists I give a shit about, thereafter working through the news.

Someone's taking someone to court over a boundary issue...World News, get 7 out 15 on the quiz, then YouTube. Any NRL matches? What's Trump done now?

I walk Tomos. Meet Herb and his dog Daisy, get ignored by Dame Joan (still don't know what I've done - my feelings alternate between loathing and laughter), get the next instalment of Gillian's Mexican soap-opera life, bump into multiple others. 

Some of us humans know each others' names now - we all know the dogs' names before we know each others'.

Spend too much time on YouTube. Get angry. My version of Tik Tok.

Must write more adventures. I'm rediscovering my writing side, my creativity having been strangled by years of institutional education. 

An ember still lies there. Must get the bellows out and some twigs. Need to work on this.

I almost forget lunch. It's a powdered Huel drink. Some people say it tastes of cheesy feet. I quite like it.

Snacks are shortbread biscuits or Bahlsen chocolate biscuits washed down with a mug of tea. Maybe a banana and an orange too.

Do a shop. Go to the supermarket every day. If I'm cooking for all of us I'll get a marinated spatchcock chicken, roast some veg and have some couscous with it. Other than that I'll eat on my own; pasta with a ton of spinach, or a pizza with a ton of chilli oil.

Might go for a walk in the afternoon but avoid the pubs. Don't want to start all that again. I want to keep the moderate drinking going.

Evening might be gaming online or I'll watch a film or some documentaries. Went to the local cinema last week with Nerys and watched A Complete Unknown with Timothée Chalamet as Bob Dylan. It was great. Must go more often.

Repeat.

Pushing Envelopes, pulling pints

Rupert visiting for the day, Suzy down for the previous weekend with her eldest daughter, playing online with Adrian, Larry and the other goblins as well as Sacha, Tim , Boyd and Eddie. 2 days of DMing with the kids in Pilton (see below) then writing a brand new adventure for the Wells lot for a one shot. 

Going to London to do a talk to 10-15 MSc students only 6 turned up and only one asked any questions. It was okay though.

Almost every day there was something on. And I just can't do that without paying the price anymore.

So on Tuesday 25th I woke up late with a cold. First cold I've had in 2 years. And it's a stinker. Still got it just as bad a fortnight (that's UK English for 2 weeks) later. 

I've barely left the house.

The oldies never got it. But I'm still very good with hand-washing and staying out of other humans' way.

So I'm off to see the duty nurse who, apparently, is very rude. And I'm so tired.

Too much gaming?

2 days of DMing in Pilton. The kids. You know. But there's a big age difference between 11 and 14, and it showed at times, with the older kids getting annoyed at the dumb stuff the young 'uns were doing.

It's supposed to be a collaborative, team effort you see.

One evening of playing on Zoom. We're playing D&D in realmspace. I won't go into details: it's all top-secret stuff.

One and a half days of writing a one-shot adventure. 

I wrote one the week before last, based on Wizard of Oz and Beauty and The Beast, with the screenplay in the manner of HP Lovecraft.

This week's was a time-travel extravaganza which I've always wanted to write. Being me there is zero method. I start at the beginning and bumble through to the end, changing stuff as I go, confusing the shit out of myself and writing the dialogue as the characters seem to emerge embryonically as I go.

The plot reveals itself as I overcome every hurdle. I would publish it but I nick everything so there'd be multiple copyright issues. Hitchhikers' Guide, multiple Alan Moore comic strips, Star Trek, evil toad-like tyrant (Trump obviously) and populated by the anomalous denizens of Drakkenheim, with a certain Hollywood blockbuster ending.

Run in one 3 hour session for Hannah and Katy.

They said it was probably the best adventure they'd ever played. But then again Carlsburg is probably the best lager in the world. (Hint: It's not.)

I particularly enjoyed roleplaying the AI Moulinex T3000 Food replicator.

You had to be there.

 Songs from the shower of insanity.

Singing "Oh Mr Grimble and his magical pants..." The theme song of a 1970s sitcom THAT NEVER EXISTED.

Interspersed with superfluous disclaimers/caveats of "I'm mad!! I'm mad!!"

What must the neighbours think? Lol

Shouting out "MY WINKLE'S SHRUNK!"

Well, it has a bit. But winkle-shrinkle is a thing at my age.

It's still scarily massive though.

Oh yes.

I'm 55.

That's my winkle, that is.