Enough of this simulation

Sir, this earth simulation has malfunctioned

What? They've invented a what? An internet? What type of thing is that?

Well sir, that's where all the information in their world is available on their palmtop devices in an instant.

Sounds marvellous. And the problem is what?

Well sir, facts and misinformation are served up on the same platter as you will, and the residents find it very difficult to ascertain the truth from the lies.

Anyway, I thought they were dealing with climate change? What are they doing?

Er. Well some people  - the scientific community - are all for solving it, The others, aren't. 

The others? Who are they?

Well, mainly oil sponsors, the misinformed, billionaire plutocrats - that type of thing,

Ah. I see. So what's happened?

Well, while they had liberal democracies who were accountable all over the planet, they're now electing bigoted idiots instead, who appeal to the worst instincts of the mob and who are bankrolled by the billionaires with their vested interests. It's got to the stage where it's beyond saving.

Ah well...obliterate earth 10056/QQQQX9 and pull up another one. The experiment must succeed!

Yes sir.

Sir, we're running out of them...

Time

When you're 50 a decade is one 5th of your life. 

When you're 5 a year is one fifth of your life.

You're always looking backwards on your life which is why our perception of it is that it speeds up exponentially.

Our brains also dismiss the things we've done many times, whereas a toddler experiences everything for the first time and records it. We should try and do new things all the time, but having FTD, I only seek familiarity and routine. 

https://drdavidhamilton.com/why-time-speeds-up-as-you-age/

2 for 1 sale at the hospital

Parents were ill recently. I won't go into details, you'll be pleased to know, but they synchronised maladies so when one went in the other followed: different illnesses but at the same time.

So Thursday to Monday was taken up with going back and forth to Yeovil. It's about 30 miles, and takes thankfully only 45 minutes as the road is quite fast.

The standard of driving is so bad these days, with both type of idiots on the road: ditherers and boy racers. 

Boy racers, often in an older BMW M-series, over-take like nutters and disappear in a roar into the horizon.

20 miles later you're right behind them at a junction.

And the ditherers....Jesus.

It's enough to make you demented.

Get stopped by the police much?

The doctor found out Dad had pneumonia in one lung. Now he's taken 2 day's worth of antibiotics and he's already back at Tescos talking loudly about how the fish counter isn't what it was.

That's progress, though on Monday we're at Taunton checking out the dodgy pacemaker.

Antique humans.

Thursday D&D group

D&D group wanted me to name-check them. Well tough. Matt, Katy, Luke, Hannah and Simon can all do one.

I'm not in the business of cheap publicity.

Except for myself.

Having had a cancelled session due to ill parents, the last session we had went really well. It all takes place in the eerie, perpetually dark and frozen Icewind Dale. Lots of sinister things are happening as the party travel from town to town, sorting things out, but then discovering more intrigue and twists and plots as they go. They're now third level which means they are starting to get tougher - more resilient and potent. 

I'm feeling more confident running this adventure but it's all still very cloudy in my mind in comparison to previous adventures - some of which I've known inside-out. 

Now I know the bare minimum and have my notes to remind me. I still need to précis the rest of the adventure. Getting round to doing it is another thing entirely.

I guess that's just the way things are from now on. I cancelled my newspaper subscription for the same reason - assimilating the information is still doable, but retaining it is very difficult.

Bad Habits

Been drinking way too much. Feel like a kettle that is badly in need of descaling. 2-3 bottles of strong beer every night.

Well last night I didn't, and I need to keep that going for a while. I love the taste of the stuff but then don't know when to stop. Last night I had some Yogi tea and watched some TV. I didn't crave beer. It was easy.

Weird relationship with alcohol. 

I dreamt I could levitate. It was really nice, but people weren't that impressed. I contacted a post-grad researcher at a London university in order to prove scientifically that I wasn't a fraud. He was the only one genuinely intrigued and amazed at my super-power. 

Cut to a few months later and everyone in the world could levitate too. 

Story of my life, that.

Good Habits

I've been watching 2 new YouTube channels. One is Mr Frog. This guys has a bunch of amphibians and a bearded lizard, and they stand around while he feeds them [warning] live cockroaches and worms. He puts in weird little sound effects. I find it hilarious.

The second is a guy called Ari who is a polyglot - he has an amazing ear for languages and can learn conversational anything within 2-3 weeks. It's a bit showy-offy but...the joy he brings to everyone when he speaks their language is palpable. I think it's great. 

I'm watching fewer videos about Trump as they're clickbait and all the same, and instead more music and sports videos. I've enjoyed walking Tomos too, and I've been looking after the old folks a bit more while they get back on their feet. The chores give me more get up and go as I would just sit on my arse all day otherwise, and once you're up and about you see more stuff that needs to be done.

D&D-skilling

Being Boring

So I had this whole blogpost. And it was so boring; I didn't want to inflict it on you.

So you'll be pleased to learn I haven't.

I'm so interesting I have a series of novelty t-shirts. This is the latest:

My Mother does not approve

I have had many compliments from people in the pub. Well, it is the height of wit and sophistication, after all. 

That settles it: I shall buy some more.

I've always wanted a t-shirt that says 'The band on your t-shirt is crap.' You could have a whole load:

'All your opinions are rubbish'

'Why do you work at that place?'

'You're the Dungeon Master...' (I hear that a lot.)

'Why that outfit?'

They could really have an impact. Thought-provoking and fight-inducing Tees.

I should also write my guide-book for elderly - 'Around London in 13 toilets.' 

That's a good dollar, the toilet market.

Hampshire

I spent the weekend with friends in Hampshire. I'm very lucky to have friends like these - proper friends. Always there for each other.

Their dog Douglas is a golden Labrador and he is lovely. He's very calm and loving. 

I do love dogs as you know.

It's lovely to have them in your life. I've come to believe animals are nicer than humans. Well, I don't personally know any Komodo Dragons or stonefish, but you get what I mean.

Rupert (human) is very nice too. I keep calling him Wilbur (dog). I have no idea why.

Typing and flab

My typing is getting worse. Much worse. I'm having to correct so much of it as I go. I do have bad days and good days with these things.

In fact I've just raised the chair and I've already improved my typing...

But with FTD while you have ups and downs, your head will never be clear of the fog again.

So while the panic is over, I do notice decline in certain areas.

I'm properly flabby now too. 

Again.

So I am improving my breakfasts with porridge with seeds , berries and real honey. I had it this morning and it took almost the same time to make as toast. Easy. And delicious too.

I also need to borrow my sister's bike and ride around as my legs are like Crazy Legs Crane's.

Exhibit A

TV and Shit

So, as new TV series drip-drip through after the actors' strike in the US, here are some what I watched recently.

For All Mankind on Apple TV. Started off interestingly with an alternate history where the USSR beat NASA to the moon. It then focuses on the families of the astronauts. I started to fast forward through those bits to the actiony bits. This is not what sci-fi really is. I'd say it became rather like Eldorado in space. 5/10.

3 Body Problem on Netflix. Based on a 4 part series of sci-fi novels by Liu Cixin. It features lots of improbable cigarette smoking in Western offices and the Wow signal from 1977, which a Chinese scientist decoded and replied to, which turns out not to have been the best idea. It's interesting. I binged it over a couple of days so it must be good. 8/10

Fallout on Prime. Interesting and beautifully styled. But like a book I didn't watch it the next night and then 2 weeks passed. DO I care about the people in it? Not really. 6.5/10

The gaming bit you always ignore

On my 2-part session of DMing for the kids over Easter, I asked them in preparation to specifically use the old analogue method of character creation with dice, pen and paper: creating the character from concept, through to rolling for their ability scores, selecting their skills, abilities and spells, then methodically working them up to level 4, which makes them more powerful and involves some thought and some arithmetic.

2 of them did, and 3 didn't. 

The three who didn't just pressed go on the computer charactermancer and ended up with characters whose ability scores were random, so you can get a super intelligent barbarian who has the physicality of a middle-aged librarian, and the kids get frustrated because their characters are useless.

It's not much fun when you can't even pick up your battleaxe.

The modern world is all about labour-saving, shortcuts, saving time. The offshoot is deskilling: being oblivious to processes and ultimately being unable to fix or improve things.

We are reduced to pressing a button on a computer which number-crunches in microseconds, making the decisions for you.

The next session I run we are going to roll characters in the old way, which is actually part of the fun, but it does involve some thought.

I know reading big books can be a bore, but you really could force yourself to just read the bit that's applicable to your character. 

I made a late start to photography after buying a terrible digital camera in 2003, and then I went to college and learned photography using a totally manual, large-format camera and made expensive mistakes using 5"x4" Polaroids and film. 

I learned to use my own judgement when using any camera after that. 

Similarly with masonry - some people calling themselves masons can't use the hand-tools, and some places on site you can't get to with an angle-grinder - mallet and chisel is the only way.

We have deskilled ourselves over generations. Understandable as many of the jobs were exhausting and let's face it, horrible. 

But the upshot of this is we are becoming Eloi and Morlocks. And fast.

Conclusion: you can never learn too many skills. 

Icewind Dale

I'm currently preparing the above title for our next 8 month long Dungeons and Dragons adventure. Like Tomb of Annihilation it takes place in an extreme environment, and is epic in scale.

But what is slightly off-putting is the size of these adventures: this book is 300 pages long, and details new monsters, characters who the players will meet, environmental hazards, small quests, side-quests, the main quest(s). 

Let's play humans!

I can imagine this being very off-putting for new players/Dungeon Masters.

When I started 40 years ago, an adventure was 12-30 pages long, written by computer programmers (without being computer programs) and you needed to almost decode the entire adventure in order for it to make sense and be playable. 

But they were concise, the information was all there, and once you got used to them they were easy to run.

Now they're 10 times the size. That's a big difference.

But we started last Thursday and had a good time. The session zero was great - we fleshed out the characters and they are already very distinctive. 

Let's go!