Wednesday, December 6, 2023

Arfur Tinkle


Saturday 2nd December. Woke up at 6.30 to freezing fog. It was so cold. As I was up my 82 year old Dad was up too.

"What are you doing up?" I asked, knowing full well what he was up to.

"I'm giving you a lift to the bus station." 

"Don't be daft; I'm going to walk."

"No. You're my son and I'm giving you a lift. It's too cold to walk."

So he gave me a lift.

We sat in the car for 10 minutes and then the coach pulled up. In the queue I met Tanith and Robin, who were going up to see a gig with Tanith's son. 

We were assigned seats but managed to send each other messages on Whatsapp. It's amazing how much 4G signal there is in the world when you leave Wells.

It was a beautiful journey. I wear my noise-cancelling headphones and don't talk to people on the coach. You're quite squished in so I guess I just don't want any more aural or visual information than that as it would overwhelm me and I'd need to get out.

So we arrived at Hammersmith and went for a brunchy-breakfast and had a good old catch-up. It was great fun. Lots of gossip - I do love gossip. 

(Can't tell you what as you'll think I'm bad...)

I then went to the Novotel Hotel 400 meters from the bus station, where the Dragonmeet was and met Tim and his boy Finn, who was clearly not enjoying it. HE's only 10 so he was probably expecting more figures and games going on. Most of what's being sold are books and accessories - big weighty tomes for upwards of £50. Lots of complex rules to digest. A bit much for a 10 year old.

Some 'Great Stuff'

I met Larry, Adrian and Jono and a couple of others too. I bought some great stuff, and spent just over £100. The others spent considerably more. Then we went to The Swan  - a handsome Victorian pub on the corner, and had a couple of beers, then I got the coach home, which despite stopping 4 times managed to get back to Wells within 3 hours. 

It was such a good day. You must come next year.

Baldur's Gate 3

Since Patch 4 Act 3 has become unplayable. I know, right? Us Mac users are still awaiting patch 5 - which the Windows users already have.  

I mean it really is unplayable. 279 hours in and they've messed up the greatest CRPG of all time. 

The characters don't move, there's a 30 second lag every time you make them do something, and the party of 4 characters which is supposed to move as one, don't.

Come on! Fix it!!

So what will I do with all this spare time?  I'll just have to do things like cleaning the house, putting up shelves, walking the dog, having a shave...

I could be using my time properly to save the world.


I meet lots of dog walkers when I'm out with Tomos, and we chat and things. One woman to whom I told I have FTD, now walks the other way. 

Or maybe she was just going the other way anyway...See? 

As I walk Tomos I wonder if they know I'm weird. Am I coming across as a demented when I'm trying to act normal. Maybe I shouldn't have said to that woman,

"...and I should charge 20 guineas a time, my good woman!" (for Tomos's personal training services to other dogs.} 

I think charging in guineas is hilarious. She probably just thinks I'm a looney.

I mean I am a bit anyway. Always was to a lesser extent. Now I'm a demented I don't know how much of it comes across. 

I seem to be able to chat with anyone about dogs. Some owners in Wells are quite snooty. The middle classes never fail to entertain. The entitled/aspirational ones in SW London /Surrey with the electric 4x4s and the bottle-blonde wives, the ones in Wells with the Liberty's scarves and Harris tweeds with their noses up in the air. 

The aspirational middle-classes, providing comedic value since the time of Chaucer.

Makes me laugh.

But they know. They know I'm demented. 


The musical what I wrote

So today I walked around composing a musical in the style of those 60s chirpy cockney types, with Tommy Steele, Rita Tushingham and of course Anthony Newley

So it's called 'Arfur Tinkle', the tale of an unfortunately surnamed chirpy cockney who's endured a lifetime of piss-taking.

That's as far as I've got, apart from a few Tommy Steele and Antony Newley impressions I did while walking through the market this morning. 

Luckily no one suspects I'm demented...

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