Daydreamers of the world Unite!

'Rambling, ill-thought out and vague' #2

David Lynch and the ability to daydream, as a human necessity. He was adamant that creativity came when the mind was relaxed and he hated not being allowed to daydream.

I love that.

Study a single leaf on a branch blowing around in the wind.

Look at the corners in the room you're in.

I like my flip flops.

Yassss.

I like my Buffs.

Bufftasmic.

Looking at my favourite things.

Opening up an old book or box with a familiar object inside and thinking about what it means to you, when you used it and how.

The situation: who was there and where. Was it a happy occasion?

Watching my favourite YouTube channels.

Reading my favourite columnists.

Sitting and looking out of the window.

Seeing friends.

It's so quiet right now!

Increasingly thinking my life is like Billy Pilgrim’s in Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse 5. Here I am in the geodesic dome on the barren planet with everything I could need then my mind catapults back to previous points in my life which I live out in that instant, feeling the same euphoria, amazement, embarrassment or whatever.

Check it out. It's a 100 times the book The Time Traveller's Wife was.

It's like I've done everything I was ever going to do. That was it.

It's not depressing. Just some existential clarity. 

It's quite liberating, actually.

When are you going to get back on the tools?

They ask. As though this is some temporary or minor ailment.

'All in your mind.'

'Nothing really wrong with you.'

'Just the same as he ever was.'

If only we could walk a mile in each others' shoes. You'd see how foggy and frustrating my brain has become. 

I'm the weirdo talking to himself or out loud and he doesn't even know it. 

I wear crazy colours on my head and feet. 

Yes, I go outside like this.

I'm reading a children's book. (Probably D&D related)

I have my headphones on 90% of the time.

I can't stand bright light or noise.

On some days it takes me 10 minutes just to get out of the front door. 

Keys. Damn. Go upstairs. What did I come up here for?

Ah keys. Yes.

Go downstairs. Where are my shoes? Is it going to rain? Large red boots require different socks. Why's it so dark? Take off sunglasses. Where are my regular glasses? Go back upstairs.

Repeat any combination.

Concentrate on Tomos on our walk. It helps keep me in the present, rather than let my mind wander off into the past.

Picked up a 4" breeze block the other day. Much heavier than I remember.

I'm small and weak. That's just the way it is.

And logistics...jeez.

As I always say, these days there is no automatic mode. Everything has to be thought about from one moment to the next.

That's where all the energy goes, so after 2-3 days of painting or doing something I need at least that to recover.

Gaming or lack thereof

My week revolves around running my D&D game on Thursday evenings. For various reasons it seems to have fallen apart. I don't think it's my DMing - rather just life getting in the way of leisure.

I know I keep banging on about this, but it takes me a long time to prep. Some days when I run a game it could be I'm having a bad day - a trough - with the old FTD, and trying to process the written material is even worse - the viscosity of the treacle I'm wading through is stiffer than ever.

I précis the adventure which is often 10-20 pages long, and read it over and over. It takes me hours and can be quite difficult as I gloss over and over the text not taking 80% of it in.

Running the game - while tiring - is a thrill-fest. It's exhilarating, a mental workout and when it's flowing it is so much fun.

I need a come-down afterwards, which is 2 bottles of beer and some YouTube..

So the last few months have been very frustrating, not just for me, but the players too.

I'll need to pick myself up and immerse myself in the new campaign in order to run it to best of my ability. That means all the player characters have a reason to be in this particular campaign - their own story hook in other words, and it will need to be fully developed.

So I'm going to have to be on top of my game. 

Always a challenge.

Better start then...

Dust

That weird hinterland

I'm glad my last post about Mat went down well with those closest to him. I'm often told I'm too honest - say stuff that should remain unsaid. Too personal, too embarrassing to be shared. 

Maybe it's because some friends of mine when I was 18 said they didn't know me as I guess I didn't want to show any vulnerabilities. Since then I've tried to be more me. 

It's been a struggle, with my inclination to share the WRONG stuff.

(Apparently.)

At least I trod the correct path with the last post. Last thing I'd want to do is upset people, especially those who matter most to me. 

So now the wait for the funeral, which will be a huge affair. Mat was very popular. 

Mat wasn't a divisive figure in any way. He was very thoughtful, upfront and decent. He didn't suffer fools, but who of us do?

Tolerance? Mehhhh.

Funerals are weird things - Nervousness, sombreness, grief,  more grief, relief that that part of the day is over, then revelry - celebration of the life lived. 

The older I get the more I appreciate and understand the nature of funerals. There are many ways to deal with death - every culture has theirs. None of them I guess are 100% the correct answer, but at least they are a response and provide a collective grieving period, and a conduit for feelings and the many emotions, which is cathartic.

My world

...is shrinking ever more. Now I have 2 screens I would say I now only need half the space of my mancave. 

I've played over 600 hours of Baldur's Gate 3. That's a lot of hours. 

The other side of my room full of books and a nice chair to read in, is barely used. 

Perhaps I could rent it out?

The screens are too tempting. 

That's really rubbish. 

I'm also forgetting to write my diary every other night. Not that there's much to go in there, but pages are left blank. It's a catharsis thing as I never read them, but I have kept them all since 1986.

Philippa Perry in her book "How to stay sane" recommends keeping a diary and meditation. It's excellent advice, although I've dropped the meditation bit.

I let a friend of mine read my diary when I was at art college. She said "I wish I was you, Geraint."

She wasn't being sarcastic (I'm sure!), but I've always wondered what she meant by that.

I'm not reading anything either. I sat in a cafe to read "Vecna: Eve of Ruin" and read the first chapter. But it's taken me a week to get round to doing just that.

I am witness to certain faculties eroding.

On the upside...I completed my 5th or 6th run-through of Baldur's Gate 3 on the PC. Only 600 hours of my life has been spent playing this game.

Still, I'm a long way off Larry who has spent 7,650 hours of his life (10 and a half months) playing Lord of The Rings Online. 

There's a challenge...

Alchohol

The sad 60 year old sat at the bar embarrassing himself in his drunkeness, trying to flirt with the young bar staff and whom no one wishes to engage with.

The lost old guys who drink steadily from 11 till 4 everyday at Wetherspoon's. Resigned to their fates, they vacate their seats one at a time until they are entirely replaced by another group of unhappy old men.

I don't and I won't be any of those people.

I drank too much on Saturday night after a lovely evening with Nerys and Ben. I just stopped in at The White Hart on the way home and had probably 3 more drinks. I bumped into a nice person who'd just finished work. It was 12.30 when I got home.

The next day was a write-off.

I've pretty much disgusted myself at my own inability to stop once I start. So much so that I haven't drunk  for 3 days. I don't feel any compunction to do so either.

I usually have a couple of beers after DMing on a Thursday just to decompress after the event.

But it's too expensive to drink and it is doing my brain no good at all. That and ultra-processed food. 

(Probably.)

Batten down the hatches!

Looking out of the window

Essential for one’s piece of mind. The window I’m intermittently looking out of as I type this looks out onto acres of field, ponds, woodland, and giant sequoia trees. There are a few cirrus clouds on the horizon and the sun beats down. It’s thankfully not as hot as yesterday, and I’m shaded and cool in a very pleasant high-ceilinged drawing room.

Butterflies and dragonflies zip around the pond just out beyond the patio in their multicolours and tall dandelions shake in the cool breeze.

Back home I stare out of the window quite a lot too. It’s part nostalgic as it was always my bedroom when when I was a kid, and the window onto an extremely diminishing world for me.  I no longer have any glint of ambition other than for contentment, but I do feel some guilt that after my chores (which are pretty darn easy) I have the rest of the day to self-indulge. 

Just as well as my executive functions are often offline. 

To my neighbours I’m the weirdo who’s moved back to live with his elderly parents and who stares out of his window and occasionally screams out “ANUS” or any random set of words.

Mostly harmless though.

Meeting People

No. I’m not doing this anymore. Too many weirdos out there. Like the Von Ribbentrops I met in the pub a few times who only revealed themselves when they asked me why I didn’t think white people were being systematically replaced in Europe by brown/Muslim people.

Goodbye. Or in your case, Fuck off.

So for fear of meeting more batshit alt-right, far-right, fascists, crypto-fascists, neo-cons, objectivists,  paedos, boot-boys, Nigel Farages, Tommy Robinsons, Trumpers, Bible-thumpers, conspiracy nut-jobs and general wackos, I’m no longer going to the pub on my own. 

I thought I could just meet people at the pub. I did, but it also turns out to have been a terrible idea.

“Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet.” (Smiley face.)

Er, bollocks.

Swimming

However, I did book some swimming sessions, in fact 4, and went to 2 as on the other days I was too flustered and busy. I really like swimming and it was lovely to go up and down the 25m pool. There was no lane but being as unfit as I am that didn't matter - I didn't want to draw  attention to myself by being pompous enough to ask for one then showing how crap I was once I'd got it.

So I went up and down, with a few breaks. I lost track of the lengths I'd swum/swam/swimmed and managed 40 minutes both times.

I'm an unfit male in his 50s so naturally I pushed myself like was 25. It was nice to come out shaking, knowing I'd given myself a proper workout. I felt tired but very Zen.

I managed to keep butterflying through my heart attack.

One day last week

(I wrote this last week.)

Took me 15 minutes just to get out for the house this morning. Keys, glasses, phone wallet. Er wrong trousers...Oh god.

I am so tired. I even slept the other day for 2 1/2 hours in the afternoon. I never sleep during the day. (No longer true.)

I had to pass up swimming as it was just too much. I'm falling asleep as I'm writing this.

I was really snappy last night at D&D when running the game. That's not on. 

Walked Tomos then did a food shop. Didn't go to the pool as I tend to push myself too hard, and my uselessness would be compounded by being even more tired, or 'tireder' as the kids say these days.

Kamala Harris and Tim Walz

A month ago someone shot at Donald Trump. And missed. 

I mean out of all the Yanks with too many guns the one guy who tries to take him out is lousy shot. What are the chances?

Then the iconic photo of Trump shouting ”Fight” with his arm aloft looking charismatic as Che Guevara in THAT photo...Biden stuttering and losing his train of thought, it all looked like a Trump landslide.

You couldn’t have staged it any better.

Then Trump chooses Weirdo JD Vance who years ago described Trump as Hitler and himself as a 'Never-Trumper.'

Well how times have changed. Then Biden drops out after pressure from Pelosi, Obama and the Clintons, so smiling, warm, Kamala Harris steps into the fray saying "We're not going back " in reaction to MAGA which is a great response to a deliberately opaque golden age which never existed for ALL Americans - what in Welsh is called "Hiraeth".

Tim Walz was a fantastic, genius pick. 24 years of service in the military, looks like someone's dad or favourite uncle, high school football coach, teacher, and has a great sense of humour. Both are natural with people, and he goes hunting and fishing. 

You may not like the last part, but that goes down really well with many Americans - and it makes him an everyman.  

Taylor Swift -whatever you think of her music - is no fan of Trump, and she has considerable leverage for young voters. Similarly Simone Biles has contributed a lot of money to Kamalsa Harris. Fox News and the right wing media which seems to comprise most of the media in the US, are up in arms trying to denigrate them.

Well Trump can have Kid Rock and Kanye (or 'Ye' as he wants to now be referred and his bizarre anti-semitism), and the Democrats can have Taylor Swift and almost everyone else in Hollywood. 

Fair deal I'd say.

New Computer

I've been umming and ahhing about this (as one does) for ages. Baldur’s Gate 3 is my favourite game. But the iMac which is not designed for gaming - has been struggling to run it - even at the game's lowest graphics setting.

So I bit the big one, and asked those awfully nice chaps at Microbitz in Wells, to make me one. It was ready in one week. 

It was as much as the Mac, but it's quite spectacular, and I only use it for gaming. I'm not really planning on doing any online stuff - just working through RPGs on my own.

It's quite a beast. Here is some techy stuff:

• Ryzen 7 7800X3D Processor
• Corsair 280MM CPU Liquid Cooling Loop
• MSI RTX 4070 Ventus 12GB
• MSI B650 Gaming Plus Wifi Motherboard
• 32GB DDR5 6400Mhz CL32 RAM
• Cooler Master TD 300 Mini Tower
• Cooler Master GX
• III Gold Rated Power supply
• 2TB SSD 
• Windows 11 Home

No, me neither.

Anyway, I'm now running BG3 at its highest level with blurring, shadows and all kinds of groovy stuff. The PC lights up multi coloured, I have a keyboard that pulses rainbow colours and a mouse which also has these crazy LED lights.

The new set up with new desklights. Less cluttered. 

That’s Mark Hardyman on the left. He’s a BAD person.

Yeah, well. You get the picture.

Apparently this all seems to be very de rigeur for the gaming community.

TBH it does add to the experience!

I even dress like a teenager now.

Average post about dementia

An Apology

I know these posts are becoming more irregular, the quality goes up and down, and they also reflect my mood (so I've been told).

My day consists of walking Tomos, meeting the other dog walkers, letting the dogs play, then going to the pet shop where Tomos jumps onto the counter with both paws so they can throw him treats. We then buy a dried bit of an animal and go back to his home where he munches that part of the animal.

I come home, and make myself breakfast (smoothie, coffee, porridge with a teaspoon of honey) and then catch-up with the news and YouTube subscriptions. 

I might even perform my ablutions...

Buying food, some chores around the house. Then  watch reams and reams of YouTube. If I'm doing chores I listen to Times Radio or The Rest is Politics or Page 94  -the Private Eye podcast. If I'm shopping I just have the noise-cancelling on and nothing else as you'd be amazed how loud supermarkets are - the chatter, the air-con units, the trolleys etc. 

I no longer have a subscription to The Times but I like the radio show as it features some of my favourite hacks - Matt Chorley, Giles Coren, James Marriott, Rachel Sylvester among others. It can be very funny.

I am actually reading The Guardian. I also watch John Harris who I've seen speak at one of those posh festivals - and he just goes to small towns and talks to people in the street about what their concerns are. He's so personable and unpretentious - he just gets people to unload. He's quite brilliant at it.

So what have you been up to then?

Gosh. Er, I'm not sure. I'll have to look it up on the calendar. 

Erm, not much it would appear. 4 game sessions last week, looking at buying a gaming computer but can't justify it, watching YouTube, and 2/3 nights of heavy drinking. Not big or clever. At least I'm not drinking at home anymore.

This week I have been doing lots of gaming - 2 sessions on Wednesday alone - and running my Thursday group. At the beginning of the session I couldn't remember the last location the party were at so I went with one and got it wrong - they'd killed the giants a two to three weeks previously.

That was a bit worrying. Making new memories is, you see.

So it wasn't the greatest start. Everyone seems to love the role-playing bits, so I can get all RADA about it and camp it up.

Making up daft names and basing the characters on other kids' mums from school, amalgams of people I've met and sometimes just putting a few traits on a piece of paper and assuming a [silly] accent.

One example is I'm using Mrs Sxxxxx as a rather scary Tiefling (cambion) Wizard called Avarice. She speaks to the characters in a rather emotionless Thames estuary monotone, constantly berating them for their failings and general incompetence. 

I should have done acting but I was so incredibly oversensitive as a child I could not bear to be made fun of, so I daren't expose myself on stage.

So I'm doing it now. It's nice to improvise  - I wouldn't be able to memorise a script anyway - especially now.

What I SHOULD be doing

I should have performed my ablutions already, that's for certain.

I should be making notes on Icewind Dale  - this has become procrastination No1 for weeks now.

I should have replaced Nerys's sills.

I should be doing more chores around the house.

I should be reducing my drinking even further.

I should be more careful when I'm out and about. But I love socialising and when the mood takes me I don't want to stop.

I should manage it all a little bit better though.

Rediscovery of the Week

Then I found this - from Around the Horne - the super-popular 1960s comedy radio programme. I always loved these camp comedians from this era but especially our Kenny. 

An autodidact, but a really troubled, conflicted soul, who was disgusted by his homosexuality, he could be utterly charming and hilarious one minute, then utterly vulgar and cruel the next.

He read lots of stories on Jackanory and he was spell-binding. And also the Carry On films of course.

I love his word play and erudition, his voices and outrageousness. Poor bugger. 

We don't have characters like that anymore.

Thought for the day

A therapist is someone you pay to tell you that you're right and everyone else is wrong. 

Demented Ramblings #42

The Geraint Organisation

Now I live in Wells and have a sensible haircut and buy the Daily Express, every thing has to be TIDY.

Everything is pristine in my man-cave. Things live in boxes. I'm like that Japanese lady, only I'm not Japanese or a lady.

I even have plants.

I cleaned the bathrooms, walked Tomos and power-washed the patio at the back, which was filthy and slippery. The broken concrete is now more beautiful than ever. (Photos on request.)

As you know ladies, I'm great with a Karcher. 😉

I'm also taking more care over my appearance. 

Being single again is good. I'm trying my best and feel more autonomous. Rediscovering things - rediscovering me. 

It's not like I didn't have any freedom in my previous chapter; it's just different.

Life's all right. 🙂

I'm a fully-integrated website node

I managed to replace my old stonemasonry website which used my geraintdavies.co.uk URL with this one. More luck than anything. I never understand all those codes and protocols, so I looked things up on the interweb and got so far and thought it hadn't worked. 

A few weeks later I clicked on the geraintdavies.co.uk and I was more surprised than anyone that it forwarded to Dungeon of Dementia!

That's how NASA do it - just bungle through. 

They're a bunch of morons really.

Temperance

I've got more energy from not drinking. But I'm not losing weight at the moment. In fact I feel I've put it on again. Which is odd as I have a Huel drink for lunch, a couple of pieces of fruit, a chocolate biscuit and then a small dinner in the evening.

Anyway, I don't miss the alcohol and still have the odd beer (but 0% alcohol) but fewer. 

I guess it just takes longer to lose weight at 54. 

"Come on stomach flab - disappear!" I shout.

But alas and alack, to little avail...

Boring Dreams

I have a recurring dream about owning a bike and attempting to buy a D-lock for it. Or cycling to the shops and then realising I don't own a D-Iock to secure it so I know it will be nicked.

Stress?

Maybe I should get a bike. Everyone says I should get a car as it will give me more independence and then I could leave Wells whenever I feel like it. 

I dunno. What do you reckon?

Anyway, lots of recycling dreams (HA HA HA HA HA), and then dreams about our neighbour Mrs Holister - from when I was a kid - and her fictitious grandson, Jonathan, who was very proper and grown up, whereas I was an idiot trying to be his friend and not impressing much. 

I was kicking a ball around and he was asking the names of the flowers. Bastard. Swot.

Jonathan looked like an Austin A30, but then again a lot of people back then did.

Jonathan, the boy next door who never existed.

And if you don't believe me, here's Albert Tatlock.

Albert Tatlock

He was from then, you know.

(One of my finest sentences.)

What's Trump said now?

Obsessed with the fucka, though since Carlson's interview and Navalny's death (and I suspect the timing of the 2 are related) I think Trump could be sunk. I'm optimistic.

At this time of writing he's still neck and neck with Biden, perhaps leading by a point. But Nikki Haley would beat Biden by a mile if she was the Republican nominee.

Trump's also had the audacity to compare himself to Navalny. Despicable cxxt.

He's now trying to flog his hideous gold trainers, which he is quite openly saying will increase his appeal to black people, along with his mugshot pic as a lot of black people in America will know what it's like to be as subjugated as our Donnie.

At his fascistic rallies he speaks gibberish off the cuff, and his MAGA cultists lap up whatever he says. 

His whole spiel is a fantasy. Like Johnson there is no delineation between lies or truth - just say whatever is in your interest at that particular moment and they will dutifully applaud.

They simply don't critique anything he says. 

And because of the binary nature of news channels over there once you pick a side there is no alternative to counter with. No benchmark of facts.

Like the medieval peasants following a goose to the Holy Land, they follow him regardless of any reason. 

They are the 21st Century Peasants' Crusade. They live in the Flyover States, in one of the most unequal societies in the world, and a snake-oil salesman has come to deliver them. Many of these people are evangelists and there is a poor standard of education.

I guess it's a lesson in what can happen in a Plutocracy with Universal Suffrage. A neglected portion of society are vulnerable to a narcissistic fascist.

Whataboutery with the Botskis

Crazy dreams about catastrophes, armageddon - must be seeing all the crypto fascists on the internet. With Navalny and the MAGA right embracing Putin and other hideous dictators around the world, it's just giving me a feeling of utter dread for the future.

If you go on The Times site on YouTube the pro-Putin lot are all over the comments, flooding it with lies.

So I come back with some facts, and they say:

What about Shemima Begum then?

What about Iraq?

Ah yes - the whataboutery. That deflecting tactic to answer the question with something that on the face of it sounds similar but is factually different.

Putin actually said Poland started WW2.

Factually rubbish. And he gave Carlson all that bull about the historical reasons why Ukraine belongs to Russia. 

Well, if we go back long enough France belonged to England. 

Post truth innit.

Gaming and death

Running the game a fortnight ago in Pilton for those kids was tiring but not tiresome. Far from it in fact. It was also really nice to be around young people and engage with them.

Doing it at Easter again.

Our Thursday campaign reached a point where 2 - and nearly a third - character died. 

I did warn them that this particular part of the adventure was very hazardous. But still, they put their blinkers on and ran about putting on cursed items, running down staircases to open chests that were obviously there to tempt them, and doing very little observing. 

Oh well, I warned them.

So 2 new characters are miraculously going to join next session. Simon and I are really happy with his character and how integrated it is to the story.

Nearly at the end now - 4 more sessions probably.

Okay. That's me done for another week.

Oh god: it's you!

"One of our friendly counsellors gave him a donut..."

(A day trip to Ikea.)

Yes, Ikea. I went there with Dad. It's a terrible place, painted all blue and yellow. 

I've never had a problem with that colour combination until now. 

We went to look at 3 pieces of furniture, only one of which was actually on display. 

It wasn't very impressive. 

The one compensation was the packet of mini cinnamon buns that I bought at the end, and which they have traditionally for breakfast in Nordic countries. 

Ikea is a vision of hell. Endless furniture and things you don't need but perhaps amongst them there are things you do need, so you keep looking. 

I couldn't bear it any longer. I was actually getting very stressed - this is an FTD thing too. Panic is coming.

I asked an assistant up a ladder "How do I escape?" Then I ended back in the same place, and asked multiple more assistants. One assistant and a guy doing maintenance were very helpful and agreed about the awful dystopian nature of the place, even though they didn't use those precise words.

It's like some terrible French play about being in hell but you're not meant to realise until the end, except you sussed it out early on and just had to put up with it.

Maybe that's why they have all those sweets at the end of the store, to make up for the trauma.

We ended up ordering everything online. I had a day of constructing a Billy Bookcase - fastened to a stud wall with leftover fixings from the Billy bookcase in my man-cave; 2 large filing cabinets and a small magazine rack/table.

Wiped me out for 2 days it did. And I used to do stuff like that in my sleep.

Gaming

Yes I know. You're not interested and don't really understand and don't want to. 

Well tough. This is a big part of my life and so I will talk about it.

230 hours of Baldur's Gate 3. Yes, two hundred and thirty hours spent playing this game since October 1st. If it wasn't so brilliant I wouldn't play it. Truth be told my iMac struggles with the graphics a lot and in certain parts judders. I have the graphics turned down low too. 

Nephew Ben has bought it for his PS5. He's loving it too. It is a next level of gaming and brilliantly written and performed, with Jason Isaacs and JK Simmonds amongst the voice acting talent.

I'm doing a new run-through and have Lae'zel as my girlfriend. She's a Githyanki you know. 

I like strong women you see. 

Just don't make her angry...

One of the biggest hits in the game is Astarion, who is a gay vampiric elf. He is incredibly funny and cutting in as camp a way as can be. 

In fact, there is lots of naughty stuff to do if you're inclined that way from designing their genitalia (6 options so far to choose from) to partnering up with other characters.

It is a next-level game, and how you act and what you do, who you befriend, who you kill, will alter the ending in myriad ways.

Aside from CRPGs (Computer Role-Playing Games) the Thursday group of D&Ders in Wells are now in the humid jungles of Chult. From communications with 3' high frog people who only speak their language, to rescuing eagle folk from pterodactyl folk, man-eating plants and dancing monkey fruit...there's been plenty to occupy us. 

And we are playing again tonight.

Education

Most lessons to me were utterly boring and I didn't want to be there: English lit (apart from Chaucer for its historical value), chemistry, biology, German, geography, maths and PE when it was cricket season. No interest in any of them whatsoever.

My friend Rupert who very kindly came up to see me on Monday from Hampshire, has a son who sounds very similar to me at that age. Only interested in a few things, doesn't pay attention - looks out of the window, day-dreaming. Story of my life.

Art college and school - while I didn't mind either they both achieved the opposite of what they intended - and squeezed the imagination out of the pupils in order to make them viable economic units.

But I kept some stored in secret, and I funnel it now and again for gaming purposes!

It's not what it was but it gives me hope.

Just don't tell the authorities.

Aging #24

Went out with 2 of my D&D buddies on Tuesday night. It was good fun. Lots of good beer, getting to know each other a bit better and having a laugh. 

Jeez-  did I have a hangover the next day. But it was worth it.

I'm also meeting an old schoolfriend I haven't spoken to since school. She did look slightly horrified as I spoke her name in the middle of town and she couldn't quite work out who I was with this sporran on my face.

But we are going for a coffee this Saturday, I must say she looked exactly as she did at school which is remarkable seeing as we are 54/55. 

Some people age better and/ or just live healthier lifestyles. I'm not sure about either with me.

It's hereditary, whatever it is.

I still dream about lost friends as though they're still alive. That haze in dreams where reason and fact is obfuscated (see 'social media') and you're back to almost where you left off with the person. And you wake up and you come to terms (in a lesser way) with the void they have left.

Oh well, maudlin as this has become, I should end on one of those 'And finally...' moments.

 No. Can't think of one.

Moving On

 Autumn is here with a vengeance

It was absurdly hot for way too long, and all of a sudden I can wear clothes again. For months all I could wear was a baggy t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops. Every day the same things. Anything else and I was a sweaty mess.

Then it just rained and dropped a few degrees, and all of a sudden it was Autumn. I find it to be reassuring in a way, that despite climate change we are at least in receipt of actual seasonal weather. 

We escaped the worst of the Storm Ciaran, as did most of the country...

Anyway, enough of the weather.

Actual Moving

So a couple of weeks ago I finally moved all my shit here. I was in London at J's (no longer 'home' which is peculiar as I spent 9 years calling it that) and hired a van in London as it's £50 a day as opposed to nearly £80 a day in Somerset. I packed my stuff, having worked out the volume (see picture).

Only a cubic metre out!

So I packed everything up , drove to Somerset, and unpacked it and set it all up, with some stuff in storage which I'm gradually forgetting about, which is not good. The thing is I had so much get up and go that week that I couldn't stop, so I achieved lots, DMing in Wells, then driving the van back the next day to off-hire it and play on the Sunday for the last time with Larry, Adrian and the crew. 

That's the end of an era, then.

Gaming 

Still, looking ahead at least we have Zoom and various other platforms to meet up on and play RPGs on. We're looking to move the Sunday session of Temple of Elemental Evil to a Wednesday afternoon/ evening online, which would be great.

I DM'd last weekend in Wells for an unprecedented  Saturday session in addition to the Thursday session. I DM'd for 5 hours. It was great -  it was a kitchen sink session with a dragon, going up a level, meeting a long lost sibling and in doing so fulfilling a personal quest, a trip to the astral plane and then off to the terribly hot land of Chult to battle zombies and dinosaurs in the jungle.

All in a day's work.

I've also lost days (97 hours so far) to Baldur's Gate 3, which is the most ambitious RPG computer game made to date. My iMac is struggling to cope with processing the data when in the setting of the city where there are scores of NPCs walking about talking, arguing and everyone has a name and a story. It is vast. An incredible achievement by Larian Studios.  

I have a girlfriend called Shadowheart who worships an evil god, but we don't talk about that. My other friends are Will who is a Sorlock , and Lae'zel, who is a mighty Githyanki warrior.

2023 Githyanki

1981 Githyanki

I should really be doing something more than gaming but it is so addictive because it's exciting and you are in the middle - at the heart - of the adventure.

At least I'm writing a blogpost at long last. I haven't even been writing diary entries (I have kept them going for over 35 years) as my life is so uneventful right now!

Man Cave

So yes, I have made a man-cave and am still constructing it. I'm taking Dad to Ikea on Thursday to look at options for his music room.  Dad is all about music, and can't visualise things, so I've shown him some options online and done a scale drawing of the room with possible variations for new furniture, but we'll need to see it physically to make the decisions.

I took the net curtains down in the room. Funny looking out of this huge 1960s window onto the road - the all-too familiar but changed houses opposite. My parents are among the last original owners of these houses when they were built in 1963/4. The people who've come and gone, remembering them , the cars, how things were back in the 1970s and 80s. It's kind of nice and sad at the same time.

Last week I made a desk extension. I'd looked into buying keyboard drawers but they were expensive and I didn't like the designs of them, using bulky clamps and things to attach, so I decided all I needed was some MDF which I would cut, paint and then place everything on top of. 

It's sturdy and impossible to tip due to physics. 

© Geraint Davies Desktop Solutions 

Just got to clear the arch of hideous clutter (Dad's) around it and I'm done. 

What now then?

Funny being here. People I haven't been in contact with and new people I need to befriend and make a social life with. I will go back to London more and more I think. Things with J are good and long may that continue. I walk Tomos every weekday morning, I play online with friends on a Monday, I'm in touch still with people. More online gaming with people would be good. And meeting more people in Wells with similar interests/outlook would be great.

I do, however, need to do more round the house and not get sucked into gaming all day.

And not forget about selling all that stuff in the lockup!