Showing posts with label mind flayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mind flayer. Show all posts

Sunday, October 16, 2022

I can’t get my head to think

Games Holiday

 So I went on holiday, a gaming holiday. And the 2nd day I got Covid and had to come home and isolate. Very annoying. I'd hired a car too and had (naughtily) taken Wilbur the spaniel with me, despite the 'No Pets' instruction.

(Anarchy or what? Yeah, I know!)

I came home and all symptoms were gone in 2 days and after a clean LF test I came back. 

We played some games but not so much any RPGs, but for the last 2 days I Dungeon Mastered for 11 hours . It was so exhilarating but really tiring. The players all loved it too. Very kindly, the guys rearranged the timetable to accommodate me. How very kind and thoughtful of them.

Lots of other games were played: 6mm Napoleonic wargaming, card games, railway games (this is a genre) boardgames or other weird things. I even played one where you had to feed a Panda bamboo.

Napoleonic Wargaming using 6mm figures. Can you see them?

But my thing is Role-Playing Games and with a few exceptions they're pretty much all I really want to play. Those exceptions are Marvel United and Here's Negen and a few others.

By the way, this was the first time in 20 years a timetable had been used to organise the week. 

Some said it would never catch on. Others that it would upset the apple cart. 

It proved to be quite the game-changer (see what I did there?). 

At least when something is written down it can be changed/moved.  With RPGs once you start a campaign you need the same players as many sessions make up the whole game, rather like chapters to a novel. Some of the games can last years even played weekly with a 3-4 hour session.

In previous holidays games sessions were conducted on a far more ad hoc basis and there were hours spent waiting around for other players playing games we were told would last no longer than 80 minutes. 6 hours later and they were still playing.

Wilbur's Holiday

Wilbur loves it on the farm but he found the composting area in the private area at the back. I ran through to the private area of the owners, through the huge hissing geese and posh chickens and despite calling his name several times I ended up having to drag him out of the compost by the scruff of his neck, still with a rotten fermenting apple in his gob.

He woke me up at 3am to puke it all up. Thanks Wilbur.

Farmer Wilbur 


I tried taking him for a walk, but 200 yards in he just dug his paws in and headed back for the farm. He just loves tootling around there and there alone. 

Luckily the other gamers (for the best part) like Wilbur too. He takes a seat next to me so he's on the same level when I'm DMing.

He's one of us.

Everyone you know is mental

Gamers are mental. This was the fourth time I've holidayed with them so I should know. 

I am now an EXPERT.

And it's all of them. People who don't wash, or do wash but not their clothes. People who have a room in their house full of Amazonian tree frogs. People who have made 6 attempts to leave the house because of their fear of getting Covid. People who are rules lawyers with no self awareness whatsoever regarding how they impact on others, who deny the existence of rules they aren't aware of. People who have the loudest voices you've ever heard. People who look at you in utter horror if you use a metaphor or analogy because they are so literal and cannot make that leap. People who can't bear any material on their feet. People who cannot bear any material on their arms. People who cannot do anything for themselves as their wives/mums do it all at home. 

Of course, I'm only scratching the surface here. But you get the gist.

Gamers are also kind, gentle, inclusive, accommodating, interesting and thoughtful.

And this is why a demented - such as myself - fits in with it all.

Life back on Earth

I had a stress-free time at the gaming holiday. It was hugely enjoyable and relaxing (except when Wilbur runs off to eat compost). 

Dungeon Mastering  for that amount of hours and the intensity of it also turbo charged me into a good place, but now I'm back I have all manner of crazy negative thoughts coming into my brainage, none of which were present on the holiday. A lot of these are the same old stupid things that have been haunting/possessing my conscious these last few years, all of which happened years ago.

Possible reasons as follows:

  1. The Conservative Party. They certainly don't help matters.
  2. Pelotons of city-boy cyclists on 15 grand bikes shouting about their what their broker's advised them while tearing round Richmond Park don't do my mental health any favours.
  3. Knowing that I'm on a high as far as cognitive function goes means I can expect a trough in the very near future.
  4. We all feed off of others' fears and worries unconsciously, whether from hormones, smells etc or body language and the subtleties of communications.
  5. Other/don't know.
As always, I tell myself to remain creative and keep busy and all will be well. I still haven't drunk since that Friday in September when I lost my shit.

Luckily I found it again. 

It's just retaining my shit that's the problem.

Monday, August 29, 2022

SHUT UP GERAINT

Nothing to say

I feel I have less to say these days. And that's not like me at all.

I read the newspapers and walk the dogs and play my games, do my chores. I just don't seem to generate the same yield of rants and opinions that I did even a year and a half ago.

This must be part and parcel of the general decline in my brain activity. 

I've had the intention of reading lots of Dungeons and Dragons books and have achieved very little - a chapter a day at best. Disappointing.

I still have my lists. My reminders on my calendar that pop up to put me back on the tracks.

God it's easy to ignore those. 

In fact I laugh in the face of digital pop-up reminders! 

I chat over the news with J, but less so I think these days. It may be that with the 5th rate venal scum we have running the country that it's just too depressing to talk about any more.

D&G Decline?

We keep on cancelling the Monday evening sessions. Sometimes people just don't respond on the WhatsApp messages if they're able to attend or not. It may just be my perception of things but I feel there's a decline in the energy - the positivity - that used to drive the games.

It may be the particular adventure we're doing is less interesting, my DMing (Dungeon Mastering) or just that people are tired after work, the campaign has just atrophied, or something else. 

Maybe it's just my perception.

Perceptions are everything though. 

I get concerned as I drift off into the Astral plane of dementia, that the silvery cords that bind me to you, the world and everyone and everything are disintegrating atom by atom, molecule by molecule.

They are here...
(This is a big D&D reference from the Astral Projection spell!)

Already I feel more distant than I did when I started this blog 9 months ago. 

Increasingly separated from everything until there is nothing.

Oh well, look on the bright side.

😶‍🌫️

Finally Retiring

I've sold my van, which is being picked up next week, and 2 of my masonry chums are coming to buy my old tools, though I am  keeping my hand tools for futile purposes.

2 other friends have asked me to carve a green man for each of them. I'm happy to do this. Whether I get round to doing it is another thing, but as usual I INTEND to do it. It's a great get-out clause I learned from an old (non-masonry) boss years ago. We INTEND to be there. We INTEND to win. I INTEND to knock smack on the head, etc etc..

I'm not really on smack by the way.

Finally I'm doing something meaningful and getting shit done.

A new world beckons. I shall visit my friends, sort out the house, sell things on Ebay, run myriad games groups.

Well, I intend to of course...