Rude!
Last night J went out with a friend to the theatre. As R is away I ended up looking after the 3 dogs. I gave them some lovely hake from my fish and chips (little bit-sized cubes without batter of course) and we watched the whole of Reacher on Prime. I think Chippy liked it the best and watched it from the sofa with me; Stan likes draughts so he's always falling asleep by the front door, and Wilbur prefers a pile of shoes to sleep on.
The appeal of Reaper: it's reassuring to see a Judge Dredd with a heart dispensing instant justice to bad guys. Over-simplistic? Check. Antediluvian? Check. Formulaic? Check.
Doesn't stop it from being thoroughly enjoyable.
The other thing I watched was Pam and Tommy. It's fun and trashy, and the storyline is a bit of a mess, and it's most notable for the prosthetics worn by both lead actors. It's too daft to be truly offensive. Tommy's talking penis is one of the characters in the show - basically doing the job of a Muppet™.
It's funny at the moment that in readdressing the balance all programmes are thinking they're very cutting edge by showing as many penises as possible. Can't they see they're all doing it? It's actually become cliche now.
Anyway, the fish and chips was good.
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| Crikey! |
FTD bv (Behavioural Varaint)
Just talking to J this morning. She could have been a double for Pamela Anderson too (with all the hair and make-up). I love going to places where she's dressed up as she looks absolutely gorgeous and she's really smart too, and she can work a room with the best of them. And I'm shallow enough to wallow in the fact that she's with me.
We talked about when our relationship started to change. I suggested it could have been prior to the inception of dementia - that once I'd got married at 45 I'd done the old adage of putting my feet up and becoming Stan Ogden.
However J was pretty insistent that it wasn't middle-agedom, but the dementia what done it.
So in the bar chart of life (yawn) how much of the 'problem' is middle-aged inertia and how much is FTD? We'll probably never know. J is maybe being generous to me saying it's all dementia.
But I don't have any precise data on that.
If J is correct though, that is the saddest part of dementia. It's what it does to your relationships. It's what comes between you and your wife/husband/partner. It just stands between you, immovable and smug, pushing you apart. You know something has changed but not what or why. You can't see it or smell it or hear it. It doesn't make any sense. People become sad and angry, furious at their partners (both sides) as one accuses the other of changing (even physically in the way you kiss as the tongue is governed by the brain) and the other partner lashes back denying everything as they are unaware that there is any change except in the other partner who's accusing them, for seemingly no reason.
That is the biggest cruelty about the disease: it's an emotional smart-bomb.
And rest...
Thinking I was better (in a cognitive way) yesterday I thought I would hedge my bets and just have an easy day, hence the TV binge. If I rested, I thought, it would bode well for today.
And I woke up feeling brighter and more alert than I had for over a week.
Until...Jacqui started telling me about the Kafkaesque nature of her work as a management consultant, and then my brain stalled. I just couldn't take in what she was saying, and it started to sound like babble. (It actually is babble.) As a safety mechanism my mind wandered into multiple areas and I thought of cartoon characters and TV clips and numerous other things. After a couple of minutes of real time I realised I had been in safety-mode and had to ask her to stop. She understood, thankfully.
What's worrying is at moments like that I can feel the tension physically. The back of my cranium starts to throb and I can feel my temples about to burst. Is this par for the course with dementia?
It'd be nice to know.
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