Executive functions offline

 Sales Prevention Officer

So here we are in BST 2022. It's always a shock to the system for most of us, for the first few days, as our bodies adjust to getting up an hour earlier. I don't know why it's such a big deal but it is. I for one feel no compunction to do anything except ignore people asking me to do stuff. While last week I was all get up and go and task-central this week will be one of reading and quietness.

"I have a large crack in my threshold stone." I couldn't care less.

"We would like you to quote for reinstating a bay window." Where are you? "E17." No.

"We are wishing to purchase a property and were wondering if..." No.

"Can you...?" No.

So this is a small part of running a small business - marketing, managing, logistics, the job itself and ultimately sales prevention. It's ultimately why I'm quitting. 

I can find myriad reasons why I won't be attending to a broken paving stone or cracked paint or to and fro with a customer for weeks while having to justify a fair price for something few people have any idea what's entailed in creating (a bespoke product costing £1,500 in raw materials before we even start carving) yet I'm apparently expensive, while the same customer is prepared to pay 10s of thousands for poorly engineered bifold doors or polluting cruises in the Sargasso sea. 

I don't get it myself.

Zen and the art of bugger all

I guess this is down to the old Executive Function thing of FTD. (Nothing to do with being a miserable sod!) I'm told I have to be kind to myself and not expect too much. So this morning I've bought myself a water filter, a present for my sister's birthday (I asked her and ordered it online so it was no effort at all) read the parts of the paper I wanted to read (decreasing by the week) and am trying to get my head round some statue thing we've got on the go. Can't bring myself to do anything about it though.

This latter is the sort of thing people do in a coffee break at work. On days like today I get nowhere fast - it takes me all day to accomplish almost bugger all. 

I actually feel relatively normal. My head's a little foggy but my typing is okay, it's just that this is all I'm capable of. 

And you're probably thinking, why bother?

The Most Boring Place I ever Worked

People are often surprised when I tell them, but after leaving a company called Chorion (a rights-owning company) I temped for a bit before I did my photography course back in 2006. 

I was a PA (believe it or not) to a very nice guy (the only decent boss I ever had outside of masonry) at the Discovery Channel. He was responsible for something I've completely forgotten about.

Anyway, a lot of people worked doing the networking for the various channels. Their job was scheduling all the programmes for each channel. Some days the networking people would just do 'Fishing Day' and alternate say 2 different series for 24 hours. Or 'Gun Porn Day' where some psychopathic ex-special forces Yank wanks on about the development of bullets designed not to kill but to maim. The schedulers were guided by charts and some fairly sound data, but it wasn't rocket science by any means. And the people working on it weren't the brightest bulbs in the box.

2 women used to sit opposite me. One would always be late and when she arrived the pair of them would discuss yesterday's episode of Home and Away (great programme by the way). It would last longer than the programme itself. Aside from this, on the average day I had about 20 minutes of work to do. 

There was nothing to do, but at least it was a zero-stress environment. 

One time I was so bored we had some flat-packed office furniture arrive. Rather than wait for the men in blue overalls to arrive and assemble it I found a screwdriver and did it myself for something to do. One executive said "Gosh Geraint, you're wasted in TV!" She meant it as well.

Unfortunately I think I drove myself nuts there, along with maybe some other people. 

Definitely some other people.

How did you get on at the office dear?

They asked me to leave on the last day before Xmas! They must have hated me! 🤣🤣🤣

Actually, being fired or sacked or made redundant has been one of the great blessings of my working life. I've always found better work opportunities after those events. I learned that if you don't fit in then don't try to detain yourself in that workplace - it ain't ever gonna happen. 

I came back to masonry to tide myself over (much less awful) and photography, just as the rest of the world decided to do it too.

Masonry it was then!

Maybe with my daily 20 minute attention span I could get a job back on The Discovery Channel?