Brain fart #1

 4th January 2022

I've been isolating with Omicron. Thankfully I've had both vaccinations and the booster. It's like a mild cold really but Jacqui's mother had to go back immediately so she would be able to see her husband in a care home without fear of infecting him and the other residents, and son no1 had to go as he works in the hospitality industry and needs to work to get paid. So our Xmas was cut short.

Foolishly, I drank on the 5th and 6th nights and it came back. Don't mix Omicron and booze. Bad idea.

Isolation has meant that I have been waited on hand and foot which I am extraordinarily grateful for, and have had to do very little. I have watched half of Netflix and lots of things on Youtube - I'm currently watching lots of debates and discussions with Stephen Fry in. I had a friend of mine who passed away about 5 or 6 years ago, who had a brain like Stephen Fry's - someone who seemed to know everything, had retained more the details of the book you read 5 minutes ago and was able to quote parts of it verbatim despite having read it 20 years ago. The wisdom that comes with that can be awe-inspiring: I just sit down to bask in it, hoping some of it will resonate in me somehow. I miss my friend Martin., There are few people like this and their absence is a very significant one.

I guess with such a colossal intellect there comes the downside, of not being able to turn it off, of it going into realms off-piste as it were, where it creates damage and where depression sets in. That was certainly the case with Martin too.

Maybe being average is where it's at.

Just finished our FTD Zoom group. Alison asked me at the end of the session about stone, as a polite and inclusive thing to do. Being me I started on a subject then got onto the soapbox and ranted. And then it was time for the session to end. I wish I wouldn't do that.

One thing on these Zooms, we don't really know each other but we are linked strongly by our condition. Sometimes it's difficult to listen to other people articulating, or having difficulty articulating. I'm very impatient and more interested in me if I'm honest, but there are certain people I really enjoy listening to and learn from. 

You know who you are.

Played D&D last night. I'd found prepping for the session quite frustrating: I just couldn't knuckle down and do it. However, I had written the bloody thing. However however, I couldn't quite remember it! 

So anyway, I had a vision of the setting and the NPCs. As a DM I tell the story, I decide using rules what the outcomes of the players' actions will be, and I play all the NPCs  - i.e. all the other characters in the story that aren't played by the players.

That can be a bit overwhelming especially when you're impeded by FTD and you brain is easily tripped up or gets into a muddle and stalls.

But I've got a work-around.

If I write Brian Blessed on a character, or Hilda Ogden, it's much easier than going through the list of traits, bonds, flaws etc. I just play the part using my imagination and a piss-poor impression, but it's enough to work in my own way,

It was a short session but I thought it was pretty good. The Boxing day family session was really good and gave me confidence as well. Sometimes you just need a run, but also pride comes before a fall, so one must never be complacent. Always prep and write notes. My adventure books are full of highlighter, notes and tabs - just like a Shakespeare book when you do a literature exam. It's the only way I can make it work. I have to hammer the key points into my head!